Just A'swing....

Today was day two of getting into the swing of things. I got in bed on time, though it was still about midnight when I fell asleep. I woke up three times during the night and again when my alarm went off at 7:00. I didn’t want to get up, but I did. I read my Bible, cleaned my room and checked all three emails, sending off personal and some book-related emails. The computer turned off at 8:00 and I went for a walk. I jogged all the way down the street my uncle lives on. I’m going to see if I can add a bit longer to that every day. I made a smoothie for breakfast and began working on Swing before finding out that if I was going to do any writing with Val at all today, we only had one hour when we could both get on. I got on and while working with her, I reviewed a few short stories by other authors, answered a few messages, edited the first chapter of “Come What May” – a Little Women novel, that I started years ago on fanfiction.net. I said good bye to Val and turned off the computer again, going to the kitchen where I put a pot of beans on and decided to add two fried eggs to my breakfast. I asked my grandfather about a minor military detail for “Swing” and spent an hour cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry and taking out the compost. Ryan saw me working and began cleaning the living room.

After eating a bowl of the now-ready beans, I contacted Tami and gave her details to get a signing approved at the college, then resumed editing Swing and completed three chapters. I edited photographs and sent off details to Marie about the book cover for “Across the Distance” so Rob can see about helping me design a cover for it. I put on “Wizard of Oz” to watch and listen to while I was working on the computer. I reformatted two more chapters of “The Calling.”

Now it’s 4:20 in the afternoon and I’m trying to decide which project to focus on next. I have about 2 ½ hours before rehearsal starts. Tonight we’re blocking the last portion of the show. I’m supposed to be off-book by Thursday but I can’t get my script back from the scarecrow. There’s been an illness going around the cast and I’m trying very hard not to get it.

September 7th

Tonight, I'm to be locked in a witch's castle.

No seriously.

Anyway, now that I've got my hookline, I get to report a very sucessful day.

I woke at 6:20ish to the sounds of cats yowling and thought maybe Kaden had met up with the rabid skunk around here. It turned out to be a false alarm but I couldn't go back to sleep so at 6:45 I gave up and read my Bible.

I made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, went for a walk and ran quite farther than I thought I could. I have decided that unless it's work related, my internet will be off between 8:00 and 3:00 so I shot off a few emails before 8:00.

I began the process of reformatting Secret of Sentarra, completing two chapters today. The first went so quickly that I decided to get the second one done as well. Then I worked on the bathroom, kitchen and laundry for an hour.

After that I loaded up my trusty alphasmart and went down to the river to discover it had been taken over by an older gentleman on a jet ski. We got along though and he continued to zoom up and down the river, while I quietly transported myself back to the Civil War and wrote a chapter to help complete my Little Women fic that I abandoned years ago and recently picked back up.

I tried three times to call the college about a book signing, but I kept missing the lady I needed to speak to. I spoke to a friend on a long - overdue phone call and took my uncle to drop off at his work. Then I finally got Jess's birthday gift wrapped and mailed.

Last night I wondered if I put too much to do on my list but I made it and more. Now I have a few scenes I'd like to write. I need to watch the Wizard of Oz movie and rehearsal is in just a few hours. Still. The day couldn't have gone much better.

My First Memory

I don't know where to start with this so I'll start at the beginning - at least as far as I can remember. I'm glad I can't remember my VERY first beginning. ICU might be responsible for my feelings of isolation, ha ha.

My first memory is moving into the Chilton house in Goliad, Tx when I was three years old. I know I was three because I had my fourth birthday in that house. It was a fourteen room Victorian mansion - that looked haunted on the outside with peeling paint and a wind chime.

(All pictures are of my house, taken from a website of a wonderful couple who restored it. www.chiltonhouse.com - yes, my house has its own website...lol.)

I don't remember much about the wind chime except that it had bells and flat doves on the chain. I found a rusted one that had fallen to the ground, looked up and saw it. Then I made up a story about a little girl who had lived in the house a long time ago and died - I don't remember how but I remember the story was quite tragic.

Don't ask me why. I've never been able to understand my own brain or how it works.

But I still have that wind chime tucked away in a box of "treasures" - like a broken lion-head radio that I'm not sure ever worked...

I was playing chase with Ryan and Sarah who, being older than me, were both faster than me and not as clumsy. The downstairs all made a big circle with (I think) the hallway in the middle of them. So after a while, I could hear voices - but I couldn't find anyone.

I heard Sarah laughing. I hard Mom talking to Grandma Backen.

Then I couldn't hear anyone and I was left to wander through large, empty rooms.

I remembered that they were talking about goin

g out to eat soon and I began to cry, sure that they had forgotten me.

Note: Though I had a knack for getting turned around and lost as a child (and some would argue an adult), my parents never once left me. Nor did they threaten to leave me. I'm not sure where that overwhelming fear came from but there it was, amongst all the other irrational fears I had.

In fact, now that I think about it, I remember Mom picking me up (probably when she found me) and I sobbed that I couldn't find anyone and I thought they left me.

She assured me that she would never forget about me.

Or leave me.

Two Lives, One Girl

I sang with Sarah tonight. I haven't sung with my family in a long time, though we used to sing all the time. So much that I got sick of hymns and dreaded Dad pulling us up in front of the church to give the Sunday morning special.

I wasn't expecting to get emotional while I was singing but I did.

See, when I think about growing up - I remember the bad so much more than the good. I remember being hurt. I cringe at what I used to wear. I learned to distrust people. I was insecure and lonely and sometimes just plain weird.

As I've gotten older, I got sick of being steriotyped. The moment people find out I was homeschooled or was a preacher's daughter, they automatically put me in this "weird" cateogory that I don't want to be in.

So I quit telling them much about growing up. I quite really even thinking about it if I can because it invariably leads to the break up of our churches and with N. and many many friendships over stupid things.

I don't want to remember.

But tonight, just singing made me remember - and almost miss it.

Snatches of things. Sitting on the floor (the rotting one) when I got my sewing machine in the mail as part of my dressmaking and design course when I wanted to have a costume shop. Already this is leading to the memory that I wanted a costume shop because people kept telling me I couldn't be an actress without "giving up my morals"...

But I decided that I'm going to start trying to blog about good memories. Because I had them. I just can't remember them. And I don't want to grow up hating or embarrassed about my childhood. It wasn't "normal" but then again - whose is??

Why I Love Rehearsal...

Rehearsal takes a lot of imagination.

Especially when the scarecrow is gone (taking my script with him!)

And the lion is ill. (For an entire week).

And the guard is MIA.

It means the tinman and I are doing a lot of talking to air.

There's always the element of the unexpected like C's jeans ripping all the way up the inside seam on her leg - just before the jitterbug dance. This leads to text messages to Ryan asking him to bring up the largest pair of jeans I have so she doesn't have to finish out the rehearsal half-clad. Thankfully Sarah dropped a bunch by last week so I had a pair that would fit her.

Then there's the sight of 12-15 kids running down both asles screaming. Some of them look like monkeys. Some of them look like man-eating kids.

But after four runs of getting dragged down the steps and asles by three of them, my arms are a lovely shade of light pink from fifteen pairs of fingers.

We only stumbled on the stairs once.

After this there's the countless repeats of the jitterbug song which requires belting in a jazz style - and dancing at the same time. It's not so easy to keep the voice from hopping when you do.

A change of pace brought a treat in the middle. Ice cream poured over soda - or in my case, about half a cup of iced rootbeer. I was chatting with the understudy and tinman when this kid runs up, pats my hip, says something incredibly fast and darts away.

I glance at Andrew, "They're having a VIP party?"

"You're invited..." he informs.

"Oh, well I guess I better go." I glance across the foyer to the curving stairs, where it's barricaded by a cloth cord behind which fifteen munchkins are chilling with glasses of various colors.

"I get to come to the VIP party?" I ask.

I duck under the loop, being informed this is where only the cool people can come and I have to sit at the top of the cluster since I'm the main charecter. They seem to be of two camps - those who think Dorothy should have the top step and those who really want to sit beside her.

Yes. It was flattering.

So I drank my rootbeer with the munchkins as they described what my costume will look like. One dropped her spoon into my cup since she wasn't going to use it and was tired of holding it. She informed me I could use it to check for ice.

Then she dropped her entire cup and soda and icecream flew. I caught the cup before it fell down the stairs and assured her it was fine as I wiped ice cream out of my hair.

I told the muchkin mayor that I couldn't have ice cream and he told me that it wasn't very good ice cream anyway. He had hardly eaten any of his.

Then the muchkins were sent home, hyped up on ice cream and the Tinman and I returned to arrive at the Emrald city - without half of our party. Which meant I was the only one who knew the blocking since the Tinman missed those rehearsals.

I completely forgot the Lion dance but we got through it alright.

I passed Marie who had Trey on the phone as Tex asked him if he would be willing to act in his "Pokemon Movie" that he wrote himself and if he was interested, just call his mother back.

Trey already told Marie that he would do anything for Tex. So Tex's movie will make it's debut when he's just six years old. I think it's pretty adorable and the kid has great taste in actors. I've been contemplating grabby Trey myself to play another Trey in "Swing."

Then there's more work and the talk with Cody who observes I could save a lot of gas if I had a bike. I tell him my bike is at my real home three hours away. He offers to take me up and back to rehearsal if I'm not opposed to riding a motorcycle.

So there. There's my new theater family. It's a lot different than Center Stages but I almost feel a lot closer to these as people as well as actors.

I'm glad it was a good night. I've been tossing back and forth in my minds and moods about my future that it's great to have something good in my present.

Book Cover

Text needs to be fixed but the general idea is here.

Book Covers