Oct. 5, 2011

This morning came too quickly. I woke at 6:30 - unlike yesterday, I didn't allow myself to go back to sleep - though I wanted to. I got up and spent longer than usual on my Bible, reading verses on obedience. It struck me that in the Old Testament when God's telling the Isrealites to take over the countries, drive out the inhabitance and destroy all signs of their idol-worship, it might be serving as a picture for us internally. When we confess our sins, it's not enough just to point them out to God. We have to remain alert and actively tear down or stop doing all traces of them if we want to live with an undevided heart and serve God.
Yesterday I listened to several sermons, one of which was on breaking the family curse. Looking at the traites in my life and my family, I concluded that a good majority of my problems stem from a spirit of fear.
I'm afraid to obey God because I don't know what he'll make me give up or do.
I'm afraid of what other people will think or say about me.
I'm afraid to try new things or embark on my own.
I got no writing or editing done yesterday but I got the kitchen cleaned really well and I spent a lot of time listening to sermons and praying and generally doing some internal cleaning as well.
Today, I woke and decided I could act on what I did feel God had told me to do - even if I was unclear in other areas. So I pulled up "Flames" - finding that when I erased the index cards, I erased the script that went with them. A few minutes of searching and prayers later, I found it. So now I have the characters and plot in one program and the script in the other. Since I'm writing out of order, I decided to move to a word document and just format the completed script into the program later so I don't mess stuff up.
But by the time I got all that done, I kind of forgot what I'd been planning to write. I wrote a bit. Now I'm sleepy again. Really sleepy.
I'm not sure what today will hold. I need to go over the music for class tomorrow with the kiddos. I would like to edit more of "Swing"... I need to see about installing the formatting software.
I'll probably have to go on a walk next just to wake up.