A Late Post

I woke at 6:30 from a rather disturbing dream about a drunk co-actor. I almost went back to sleep since comapany was here last night and I didn't fall asleep until after 1:00. But I pushed through it and found Pop making omlettes. I can't focus well enough to say everything I did. I'll have to put it later.
This is something I jotted on my 45 minute lunch break.

Lunch break with the Characters
I’ve got water boiling for tea that Jonathan would approve of and I’m heating beans to put on the salad. Yeah, I eat beans on my salad. Lance can stop looking horrified.
Kent is still teasing me over my battle not to give in to curiosity and waste $20.00’s and hour of time to see how in the world someone wrote a “Phantom of the Opera” video game. Somehow, he misses the glower of Erik who’s sitting silently in the corner. Erik hasn’t been around as much the last few years. Now he just blends in with the Sentarrian masters who are also fond of black cloaks and manipulation. Poor Tehvoer’s looking ill.
I’m contemplating the chances of getting up at 5:00 to have the maximum hours of uninterupted quiet. I’m not sure I can do it.
Andrew shrugs, muttering, “I do it. And I work in a factory all day.”
“Only for a while,” I defend.
“I do it too,” Karl, of course, jumps at a chance for arguing.
“Well, that’s…”
I glance around the room. Come to think of it, Kael’s usually up before dawn. Darshon gets up just before sunrise – which here is closer to 7:00 – and Erik has such weird hours, he doesn’t know when it’s night or day – and probably doesn’t care.
Tehveor, however, probably gets up and sleeps less than all of us put together – though he doesn’t say anything about it. Tehveor is very protective of his secrets – unlike some of my characters who can’t help but sob their stories.
Jonathan ducks and Karl just glares and tells me that’s my fault for writing him at 2:00 AM when I’m over-emotional.
It’s probably true so I don’t argue.
Jonathan makes no defense and Darshon smirks.
“Oh come on. I have to have SOME character that’s not up till the crack of dawn…”
I glance around the room. “Don’t I?” I have very industrious characters….
But from the back, Erik’s hand goes lazily up. I breathe a sigh of relief.
I feel better.
Kent has my Oz script and is making a mockery of the charecters, while Karl teases he’d make a great cowardly lion. Darshon’s smirking again. He is continually intrigued that when I stop writing and return to “real life” – I spend my evenings racing across a stage, talking to green yarn that’s serving as a fill-in for “Toto”, surrounded by painted scenes and other people who are pretending to be lions and monkeys and tin-men and talking scarecrows. Though yesterday half the cast was missing, so I was left talking to imaginary people for nearly the entire first act.
Afterwards, they said I was really good at it and I looked like I could really see them.
I can’t imagine why anyone would thinkI was good at talking to imaginary people…
Yesterday I left Jonathan so distressed meeting his future father-in-law, I thought I might try to draw on those emotions for the scene in the witch’s castle. After all, Jonathan is the character with the most luck that he would be the one to get dragged off by flying monkey’s and end up in a witch’s castle, even if he does live in modern-day America. Last night though, it didn’t work and I was closer to summing tears by staying Dorothy – even if the real Andrew says she’s a brat.
She’s not really a brat. She’s just bored.
Darshon and Karl understand.
In the meantime, Charles and Gabby are encouraging me to finish that salad. Charles says I’m restless and looking like Lance.
He no sooner says his son’s name, than Lance pop’s into the room, glancing around a mile a minute. I ask how Val’s doing and he says she’s studying all the time. He shudders, thinking of the books, while Andrew looks wistful like he’s really wishing he could go back to school.
Erik starts figiting, now that his brother is here. He’s glancing around the room, checking for all breakable objects and buttons that shouldn’t be pushed. You know, like fire alarms and emergincy exits.
Kael thinks both of those ideas are really good ones and should be implimented at once into the castle. Galaphy just glares. He’d probably figure out a way to trap people in the exits and make fire come from the spriklers.
Oh. I shouldn’t have said that. Erik’s perking up in the corner, glancing with intrigue at the man.
I’ll have to send someone over to remind Erik that he really doesn’t want to be bad…
Nobody volunteers so I summon Stephen and assign the poor man to the task – and set Karl as a bodyguard, temperarly relieving him of a bad heart – though I’m not even sure that combonation is a good one. Perhaps I should inquire about barrowing Felix from Jess, but Diana sends me a rather feirce glare.
Now I’m nearly finished with my salad. Charles is gently reminding me that I need to stay focused on my work. Darshon’s complaining about the line of books that I’ve put before the second “Secret of Sentarra” – though I think he really just doesn’t like being ignored.

I, Lindsey

Last night I began sketching out characters and outlining "Flames" and found that it wasn't as hard as I feared. Warrant, looking at it, it looks entertaining and somewhat effective, but not exactly a life-changing film. Still, I found that I had the basic story lines plotted last night before I went to sleep.
When I did fall asleep, I dreamed about it. I dreamed that I completed the script and somehow got it to the producers of "Fire Proof" and they were excited about producing it. I woke again, fell back asleep and dreamed about working on the set with the actors for it and acting in it. I woke and fell asleep again and dreamed of the story itself. Then that it was produced by a different group. All night long, I dreamed and woke and dreamed again and each time people were excited about it. I took it as a sign that I should write it and I wasn't imagining it.
So this morning I began to write. It came pretty easily. I wouldn't call it a masterpiece but things are shaping. I'm not sure all the right formatting but I'm doing the best I can. I'm just writing basic dialogue right now. Later on, I'll go in and flesh out scenes and scenery. I keep praying that God will show me what to write because I'm really not sure of what I'm doing or if I'm doing it right.
I did hit some bumps that made me stop but it's not a lack of knowing what needs to happen - it's that I need to research how it would realistically happen.
Still, it's kind of a weird place to be and amazing at the same time. I really can't imagine it taking off or even being produced but I know if God wants it to, He's going to do it.
My part is writing it, so that's what I'm going to do. After that, it's up to Him to do something with it or show me what to do with it.
Other than that I didn't make it to church. I was waiting for Lauren, but she didn't come. It was too late to go to the church we had planned so I thought I'd just drive down the street and go to the first one. Only I could only find Catholic churches and it was so late, they'd be half over anyway. I went home and worked some more on "Flames".
I took the day off. I really did. I only worked on stuff I wanted to. I ran the grammar check through "The Captive" and updated a chapter of "Come What May." I wrote out two scenes for Dorothy because I'm trying to find her thought processes behind what happens in the play. I have this funny idea that I need to create a realistic character who survives twisters and talks to scarecrows...
The more I edit, the more things I find I need to fix and the more I wonder what else needs to be fixed. Tomorrow I'm going to do a chapter in the HTML book and work on carefully doing a last read-through of "Across the Distance." In the afternoon, I'm hoping to work on reformatting "The Calling" - though I'm wondering if I should wait till I'm done with the HTML book and try to figure out whatever should be an easy fix instead of starting from scratch.
And somewhere in there, I need to do the research for "Flames." I need to find the legal procedure for a father who discovers a child he formally couldn't find, the requirements for becoming a volunteer firefighter, and something else that I can't remember at the moment....

Flames

I've never really had a story that I felt compelled to write that I didn't want to. Except "Flames." I've never started a story three times, only to abandon it, feeling scalded before it ever really got started. Except "Flames." I've never had a story lurk in the back of my mind, that can bring up such stormy emotions and even a terrified sort of panic - even when I feel like God is saying, "Write it and I'll produce it. This is your way in."
Is He really saying that? Is he truly telling me that if I write this screenplay, He's going to take it from my computer into the world and do big things with it? Or am I just feeling desperate to convince myself that I will be in filming someday while it seems like it's handing itself over to my cousin while it's eluding me? But if it was that - why is it "Flames"?
I can see the potential in Flames to help inspire churches and Christians. It's not a "reach a lost world" movie. In fact, it doesn't show the church in a very flattering light at all. But it shows it in a truthful one, touching on the universal fear of Christians to admit that they have problems in their lives. And to tear each other down over little things and disagreements.
But do I want to be associated and known for this type of story? It's like putting all my worst memories and fears onto the screen and projecting it to the world. It's not about me. It's not about my family. But there are some similarities - enough for me to fear what my family will say when they read it or others will surmise just what was based from my own experiences.
I'm the worst person in the world to tackle something like this. I'm not healed from it. I'm not even sure what the proper resolution would be.
Which makes me think even more that God is telling me to write this. God likes working through the worse choice for the job.
If he was going to heal me through writing this script, I'd write it. If he was going to heal others through it, I'd write it.
But what if he's not. What if I write it wrong? What if it's just needless torture that will escalate into something worse than I ever experienced?
What if he's not really telling me to write it?
But what if He is?
I wrote out some of the characters. I even plotted it, finding things falling into place. It looks - I'm not sure. Kind of like a Christian soap opera. I can sort of see how God might work through it but I don't see it having a "Fire Proof" effect on the world.
But if God said it...
But did he? If I spend my time on it, will He use it? It's half exciting and mostly terrifying.
I just don't want to get flamed by the people who watch it.
And I really can't imagine any of my writing really moving people on a large scale.
That seems something I think COULD happen but seems like just a cruel trick that will taunt me and never materialize.
Unless He said it.
But why me?

Giga Pets

Today was Ryan's 26th birthday. Mom and Dad came and we went out to eat. It was great seeing them again. They're leaving tomorrow and Mom already fell asleep. I can't even get onto her because I'm swaying myself...
When I was a kid and Giga pets were all the rage (any of you youngsters remember that?) my dad came into the kitchen where we three kids were playing with our pets. He asked Sarah if he could see it. So she handed it over, he pressed two buttons.
The giga pet let out this high-pitch wail and the puppy died.
We restarted it but forever after the puppy would jump out of the basket, die and fly away.
He did it with watches too.
Fast forward to tonight. He sees my kindle sitting on the table.
Dad: What's that?
Lindsey: It's my kindle.
Dad: Can I see it.
Lindsey: Sure!
Ryan: You sure you want him to touch it? Remember the giga pet...
Lindsey: (large eyes)....
Mom: Yeah, honey. Let me hold it. You can look.
Lindsey: Yeah. I don't have the warranty on it...

September 22 - This Publishing Thing is Harder than I Thought

This morning I woke at 6:00 from a stressful dream that involved getting engaged to a man who wouldn't speak to me and swaping places in a speeding car with Jami Jinkins, because she was driving and people were trying to run us off the road.
It was still night, yet I know it was 6:00 and time to get up.
It was hard.
I told myself I could sleep later. That if I kept sleeping now, I would probably only get more sleepy and I'd regret missing all the productive hours. So I got up, made myself peppermint tea and read some of the HTML book (after my Bible, of course.) I did the examples in HTML. My browser wouldn't really display them so it was hard to check my work, even the stuff that looked just like the example. Not sure what's going on there. Then I ran the grammar check through "Across the Distance" - yeah, I know I should have done that before but I forgot it existed. It's a lovely tool despite having to run it through all the stuff it gets wrong or you want to keep. Then I found every "and" in the entire book and made sure the comma was in the right place. It took all morning for those two tasks and I scarecely got through before I was falling asleep in the chair. I lay (whoops, I mean 'lied') down for a few minutes and only got dizzy for my troubles. I loaded "Swing" only my kindle to look over. I helped clean the house. I started laundry since I'm down to wearing my "Lion King" production shirt and Christmas socks...
I planted the sprouts. I tried to organize the rest of my life with varying degrees of success. It seems I'm waiting on lots of things before I can go forward. Right now I can really only do the editing and the more I review and remember grammar rules, the more paranoid I get. How will I know when it's ready?
Should I take "Across the Distance" down for minor edits? What do I do???
I don't know. I'll keep learning and improving but eventually I'm just going to have to allow the fact that my first novels aren't going to be as good as my last. Still, I do want to be as professional as I can.
Speaking of which.
Pop and I have a new brainstorm to get a external hard drive. On this external hard drive, I'm going to locate and store a novel organizing program, the best editing program I can download, and Grandma the same graphics/layout program that the publisher used for "Secret of Sentarra" - wish I would have known that then. So when this hard drive comes in the mail and we manage to get all these programs onto it, I'm going to have a novel-factory and HOPEFULLY by then I'll have figured out a good system so I won't have to do things like - edit a book again, and then reformat it for kindle and then figure out what size the cover has to be NOW that I've cut out the first chapter... la la la.
Now. If I can just figure out the best and quickest way to become a good editor.
But do I focus all day on one aspect, like editing? Or do I edit one book and begin plotting another and work on formatting a third? Which would be more efficient? Which would be diverse enough to keep my brain from going on auto-pilot? I dunno....

Progress... slowly...

I woke today all by myself at 6:00. Though I can't say I was mentally ready to get up, I wasn't terribly tired either. I got up, read my Bible and went to read some of a grammar/editing book. But I inadvertently opened "The History of Ireland" and that turned into a bit of a detour. It's not as boring as it sounds, especially when I'm comparing it to the early Erish history. Forcing myself to close it (after a bit of reading) I read some of "Dunn with Editing" by Nann Dunne and more of "No Excuses!" by Brian Tracy. I've finished the book but I'm going back through. I worked all morning putting five pages through the editing program, using the Dunne book to figure out what to do with the results. Then I stopped the editing program and started mass runthroughs with search and found.
These are the things I searched and found. *Wags eyebrows.*
Search for “seem” – delete when you can.
Search for “Now.” – delete when you can.
Search for “well” – consider deletion (My characters said it in nearly every sentence sometimes)
Search for “up”. You can often delete or rephrase with a better word.
Delete “so”
Delete “still”
Delete “before” especially at the end of a sentence.
Delete “turned”
Search for “move”
I discovered. I talk weird. I talk like a Southerner. So many of these suggested searches, I didn’t think I’d find much – or not as much as I did. Martha said “well” nearly every time her mouth opened. Most of the time you can delete anyone who’s turning toward anything and use whatever action they do afterward as a stand-alone. I've never noticed how many times I end a sentence with "before."
And except a few breaks to get away from the computer - that's what I did today. I feel much better about my writing - at least the one I've changed.
I also (think) I got the glitches in "The Calling" fixed. I've uploaded it again. Cross your fingers.
I took a shower before rehearsal for the sake of my fellow actors.
Now I've got about ten minutes before I leave to be Dorothy.
I'm running out of ideas for things to add to the character. I'm going to have to work on that too.

Burned Out

See that candle over there burning at both ends until it's a pile of nothing? That's me.In fact, right now I'm sprawled out on the big chair in the living room much like that.

Watching a wedding movie of all things....

I didn't start it.

But back to the candle.

The farther I walk down this publishing road, the longer it gets. It's not just writing. It's not just editing.

Now it's finding the proper way to format a professional book for hard copies. And redoing the HTML for the ninth time for the ebook. And trying to find an editing software so I can get a manuscript clean enough to hire a professional editor with money I don't have so I don't get my final book and find spelling mistakes in it.

And trying to make a good book cover that doesn't look like a template or self-published.

I do want to produce my own books. I want to learn all of this stuff.

But I'm having to learn it all at once and I don't know how to start. I don't know the professional standers so I don't even know what to compare to.

I will learn this. I'll learn how to do it right the first time and it won't take a million hours. I don't know what else to do now though. I need to get it working. I've been getting up at 5:45 - I can't get up earlier. I've been working hours and hours and hours every day and I know that's normal for starting up a dream.

But it's not making enough income to hire people to help me. If I get an outside job I will have even less time than I do now and things will be ten times longer. Besides, that means giving up Palacios and I just can't.

I can't even pay my parents back for the money they put into my book and I'm not sure how to publicize to get enough sales to even make back what was in it.

I've been reading as much as I can. I've been working as hard as I can.

And now...

I think I'm just about surrounded by brick walls I'm going to have to chip my way through.

There has to be a way.

There has to be.

Others have done it and if they can, I can.

I just really have no clue how.

So what do I do?

Do I focus on getting the cover for "Across the Distance" done so I can send off for the proof-copy or does the book need more editing, polishing and a better layout?

Or do I work on taking a picture of my book cover so I can get a high enough DPI to make them into posters so I can make the signing packs and send them out to the libraries?

Or do I begin editing "The Captive" because it does no good to have a first book if I don't have the sequel ready?

Or do I focus on finishing "Swing" first because that one is closer to ready to publish than "The Captive" is?

And what about networking and driving people to the websites and all that jazz so someone knows that the first two books I have even exist?

(Photo by photo8.com)

Sunrises and Rain!

Today started the exact same way yesterday did: By being jarred out of long-awaited sleep by an alarm clock going off at 5:45. By a minute of confusion sorting out dreams from reality and resisting the urge to go back to sleep.

I got up. I took a shower and trouped into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Then curled up with my kindle to read my Bible and then more of the "No Excuses" book. I need to fill out more of the forms. I read for around thirty minutes. I also finished the book I bought on an editing method, finding it really didn't have anything that I haven't used in the past. For another person I'm sure it would be helpful but for me, it wasn't terribly insightful. I decided to start the day with a walk/jog and began going around the block. I saw the sun rise. There was a pile of dark clouds in front which made a nice contrast and as I walked toward it, the clouds began to blow away. It was inspiring. I stopped just to watch it, feeling like God had made it just for me to show that though I'm so confused and I'm don't know enough to make the best decision, I soon will.

I enjoyed it every moment except for the one when I was wondering if it was actually smoke from a huge fire. But after I decided it was a cloud, I continued my jog/walk and went nearly two miles.

I returned to the house and inserted the chapter numbers back into the heading for "The Calling." Then I ran the grammar check to see if I could find those little typos I noticed in the book. I found a few. Now I'm trying to figure out if I read back through it if I'll find anything else. I researched more on a woman who formats for kindle, explaining my problem to her. She said to send it and she'd take a look. On closer investigation I decided what her normal routine is what I already tried. I'm not sure why this book isn't working when the others are fine. I began looking for someone with more knowledge of HTML. I found a website that looked fantastic. www.kindleformatting.com. I'd love to use it but as of the moment, I can't afford it.

Along with that, even getting someone to do this book, doesn't teach me how I did it incorrectly and I want to learn how to format novels to professional standards. I did find out, however, that the guy that runs this company, Joshua, wrote a book. I bought it.

I've only begun to read it but looking at the Table of Contents, it looks like it's solved all my problems and more.

In other words... I think if I study this book, I can really put out a good product. Of course I wouldn't stop learning here as there's always more to learn but I think this will give me all the answers I've been looking for.

I might even be able to offer to format OTHER PEOPLE'S books and help supplement my income so I can afford that professional editor I need for my own work.

Seems like a good deal to me.

Other than that... I haven't gotten much done. But knowledge is power and if I have to take a few hours to find what I need to be informed, it's not wasted time.

I've also been researching editing software. Most places require a yearly subscription and I'm really more interested in software I can download once and be done. However I've found one that looks good and I'm waiting to hear back to see if I can put it on more than one computer - I use two. Or if I can redown load it later if I switch computers or have a crash.

Oh! And it rained! Then sun's back out now but it poured for a good half-hour. I'm hoping they got rain where all the fires are as well.

Lindsey's Blueprint

New Heights Productions

Increasing in Excellence Every Day

“To be someone you’ve never been before, you must do something you’ve never done before.”

Book Signing Schedule

1 month in advance:

· Schedule Signing

· Check book supply

3 weeks in advance:

· Email details to libraries and bookstores

· Personalize fliers

· Send out signing packets (personalized flyer, posters, book marks and business cards)

· Mail press release

2 weeks in advance:

· Restock signing kit – quizzes, business cards, pens, pencils, table cloth, ect

· Send out community calendar jazz and notices

· Begin Twitter and FaceBook notices

1 Week:

· Finalize details

· Finalize unconfirmed dates

· Put up flyers if able

· Research group mailing lists to send out

· Choose complete outfit to wear and check for cleaning and or mending issues

Night before:

· Lay out clothing

· Check publishing kit (table cloth nice, supplies gathered, outfit complete, maps)

Book Signing Kit and Supplies

· personalized flyer with date and time for signing

· 2 posters – include website

· 20 book marks

· 10 business cards

Supplies:

· Books

· Book introduction press release – personalize with dates

· Book signing press release

· Erish Character Quiz

· Pens

· Pencils

· Table Cloths

· Money Box

· Business cards

· Blank cards for drawings

New Heights Publicity Department

Excellence in Providing Books to Loyal Readers

Treat every person as if they were the most important person in the world

Cultivate close relationships with and among readers

Provide quality work at a ridiculously reasonable price

Network with Readers Across the World

Provide extra items to cater to reader’s interest in the form of non-book products

Turn every book by “New Heights” publishing into a household name

Spread the Word!

Research!

Newspaper Articles

Garnish Reviews on Site

YouTube Appearances

Book Trailers

Blogging

Twitter

Facebook

Fanfiction

Book Signings

Book Fairs

Book Reviews

Book Contests and Awards

Affiliates

T-shirts and Gifts

Reward Readers

Book Club Discounts

Loyal Readers Discount

Reward for Reviewing

Contests for Self-Expression

Free Copies

Low Selling Prices

Support Readers

Answer all Fan Mail

New Heights Publishing

Producing Each Book with Care

Writing Department

Ø Nanowrimo

Ø Producing Final drafts

Ø Creating back cover copy

Ø Writing publicity material

Research Department

Ø Researching minor details for writers

Ø Checking facts in the manuscript

Ø Researching Publicity and Market

Ø Keeping track of publicity effort results

Editing Department

Ø Comprehensive and structure editing

Ø Fine-tune Editing

Ø Proofing

Formatting Department

Ø Typesetting physical books

Ø Creating Ebooks

Graphics Department

Ø Creating book covers and back cover

Ø Create graphics and logos for publicity material

Producing Department

Ø Overlooking the details of publishing

Ø Printing and shipping

Ø Inventory

Publicity

A Day for Dreaming

Last night again, I just wanted it to be morning. This morning my alarm went off, and I got up right away though I was quite sleepy. Then I discovered it was 6:10 and the alarm had apparently already gone off once. My goal was to spend two hours reading - one more of the self-disicpline book and one that had something to do with publishing/editing/formatting/publicizing and the myrad of other things that I'm working on.

I went to the kitchen to make some tea - I've been trying to instill that habit as well. Pop was up and hungry so I thought I'd better get him breakfast before he left. So I decided to make breakfast and then read for two hours. While I worked we again chatted about the stock market and owning a theater. He expanded on the idea of building a theater with a lot of rooms in the back for classrooms. He charted out how the different areas of revenue could come in to support the theater and eventually help me attain my goal of producing my work in film and theater. After breakfast, he pulled up his stock market - uh, account? - and began showing me the rise and falls and how you could make more by selling during the rise, than you could by keeping the dividend. He showed me two of the more stable companies and explained how to read the numbers. He'll have to show me again because my brain saw the need to mulitply numbers and convert fractions and tried to distract me by waving the maroon and gold curtains of my theater across the small part of my brain that peeps out from it's long hibernation. But it was interesting. And we talked more about the theater. By 9:00, I hadn't read a word and I was convinced that it was possible to do anything I wanted.

I found out that 44 people visited my blog yesterday setting a record for any of my blogs in one day. One person bought a copy of "Across the Distance" making it 5 that I've sold since it was published. And 15 had visited today by 9:00. Now it's 16. That added to the feeling of euphoria.

I read and did some of the exercises in the book, then set to work with a passion. I scrapped my original plan to work on editing "Swing" today and declared it "National Lindsey Goal-Mapping Day." A day for dreaming it was. One my trusty whiteboard (which I got for the class that didn't make and I must say I've fallen in love with it) I wrote out. Publicity Program. Publishing company. "The Room" (referring to the room I'm supposed to be finding a way to use for steady income...la la la) "NeverLand Productions" (referring to the old acting troupe/school I wanted to start) to meet in my theater, "The theater," and "filming company."

There. All the stepping-stones of my dreams combined into one great circle of life... or ten lives... or work, really.

So then I made a fancy blueprint for "New Heights Productions" - starting with a timeline for preparing book signings. I tried to map out ideas for publicizing the book and creating excitement and benefits for the readers. Then I worked on what would be required for my "New Heights publishing" company, trying to decide if I should focus on learning the skills I need to do everything myself in a professionalism manner or if I should find a way to farm out the work so I can work on selling. I would - if I had steady income.... hmmm. Haven't figured that one out yet.

Then it was time to make the blueprint for "The Room." I erased the whiteboard again and began brainstorming for ideas to make a weekly, steady income. Piano, voice, starting a grocery-shopping business, the usual.

I wrote down Tuesday and Thursday, to figure out how many hours I could work and how much I could make while giving the majority of my days to publishing. Then it happened.

My stomach churned. I swallowed. I don't WANT to be tied down. I pictured living here and not being able to go stay in Palacios and...

Then I quite. Erased it and walked away where I filled out the form on overcoming fear and stress. There really is no simple answer to what I want. I can't be in two places at once. Unless I made my stead income off of editing and formatting people's books online. I could get really good at it and it would only take a few hours a week once I figured it out and - would that take away from my books? Where would I even start to do that? If you've ever googled "becoming an editor" or "learning to be a typesetter" you'll get a lot of snooty blogs on how if you MUST insist on self-publishing, you should leave that to the professional. Or you get a lot of "Let me do that for you!" But no one will explain the steps you need to become a profession. By this time, the wind was dying down and my sails began to flag.

I read some more of the book. Did some more of the exercises.

Nearly fell asleep.

So there you have it folks. Here's my exercise answers. My "blueprint" will be in the next blog.

1. Sell 1 million copies of each book.

2. Produce 1 book into a film

3. Act as a major character in a film.

4. Donate 1 million dollars to IJM.

5. Pay my parents back for their investments.

6. Renovate Palacios

7. Own a piece of real-estate

8. Meet a future husband

9. Own a self-financing theater.

10. Finish my four-year degree.

11. Become a natural healer.

12. Buy a new car.

13. Heal my family relationships

14. Make 50 new friends

15. Build physical strength

Major Definite Purpose

Sell 1 million copies of each book by September 12, 2012.

How can I reach this goal?

1. Set up at least four book signings a month.

2. Get reviews on the book.

3. Give away free copies of the book.

4. Blog, tweet, and other social media.

5. Make 1 million very good friends.

6. Find other people to help sell my book.

7. Find stores to stock my books.

8. Make a book trailer for my books.

9. Find 100 “loyal fans” for the book.

10. Write more books.

11. Tell everyone I meet about my book.

12. Make book cards.

13. Advertise for the book.

14. Lower the prices of the book.

15. Write newspapers about the book.

16. Research how others sold their books.

17. Hire an editor, cover designer and formatter so I’m free for writing and marketing.

18. Develop relationships with customers by keeping up with them.

19. Develop relationships with future customers by taking and interest in their endeavors.

20. Book club discounts.

How can I sell 100,000,000 copies of my books in a year?

1. Create a sensation buzz and excitement.

2. Research whatever Harry Potter and Twilight did.

3. Create a book trailer and put it in front of everyone.

4. Create strong relationships with people - especially those who would enjoy the book.

5. Go to book fairs.

6. Find interesting places to sell it.

7. Book signings.

8. Write lots of books.

9. Create a small publishing company and get it into bookstores.

10. Focus on ebook sales.

11. Get reviews from everybody.

12. Enter into published contests.

13. Give consignments to those who help me sell.

14. Lower the prices as much as I can.

15. Give books away to garner buzz and reviews.

16. Find a way to break into media.

17. Develop ways to pull people’s interest into interacting with the book.

18. Write the newspapers.

19. Review other people’s books who may be common with mine.

20. Launch a national campaign

Failure is not an option. Success is assured.

Action Exercise

1.

· I will lose Palacios or I’ll move there and won’t thrive.

· I won’t be able to make enough money and reach my goals.

· I’ll have to get a job that will tie me down.

· I’m afraid to live far from family.

2. I have always wanted to act in film but was afraid I wouldn’t be able to find enough wholesome work to pull it off. I have always wanted to be a best seller but I’m afraid I won’t be able to get my work out to enough people for it to take off. I have always wanted to fix up Palacios and live there while still doing things like acting and being near family.

3.If I was guaranteed success in filming I would create a headshot and show up with confidence for auditions. I would network with people to produce my writing as a film and would unashamedly expect a role because nobody can pull my own characters off like I can. If I was guaranteed success in being a best-selling author, I would cry in relief. Then I would go full-force into whatever it is that will make me that way. If I was gaurenteed a job that wouldn’t tie me down, I would travel back and forth between here and Palacios (if I owned it, I could live in it part-time and rent it out on the weekends while I’m gone) and I wouldn’t worry about choosing between home, family and opportunity. If I was guaranteed that I could successfully live on my own and stand on my own two feet, I’d pursue everything I was now – only about triple the speed.

4. The three areas of my life in which I experience the most fears of failure and loss are making enough money to be financially independent, losing the emotional support of my family and in making new friends and trying new things because I’m not good enough. To overcome the financial aspect, I need to study more about investing and hone my skills so that I am an “expert” in my fields and I know what I need to make my books successful. I can temporarily get a job to build up my assets so that I have enough money to invest. I need to start thinking and acting for myself without depending on anyone’s help. I need to enjoy my family, not enslave them. I need to work on understanding people more, and try doing things that scare me so I become comfortable in social situations. I need to prove to myself that I am just as capable as anyone else.

5. The three areas, that I experience the most criticism, rejection and embarrassment are not having a normal job, not having money and being introverted. I could overcome this by succeeding despite not having a normal job or getting a normal job and thus fitting the idea that everyone has that I should look like. (Wow. I just blamed everybody. Let me try this again.) I could overcome this by working to be educated in my field and producing high-quality, efficient work. I could find better ways to earn and invest my funds as well as saving the little I do make. I can work on my people skills by reading books on body language, personality and getting out in different social situations to interact more.

6. If I knew that I could not fail, I would recreate every book I ever wrote into film versions, act in some of them and use half the proceeds to help end human trafficking.

7. If I had 20 million in the bank but only ten years left to live, I would build my own theater, equipped with training rooms for classes. I would write as many books as I could get out there. I would invest 1 million to make sure the money kept building. I would renovate Palacios for my parents – and if they didn’t want to live there, I’d buy it and use it as a “relief” house for wounded pastors or something. I would get my books made into movies, cast it myself and create it as I see it in my head. I’d build up as much dividends and royalties as I could and direct half to my family and half to ministries that end human trafficking so that they would be supported even after I left. It’s a lot but given the ability to hire out the work, I think I could do every single one of these. Oh, and I’d have a grand time doing it. I’d visit all my friends at their homes and take them all on a trip to Europe.

September 12th

Today started with a dream about moving to Palacios that almost had me convinced going back was the right thing to do. Even before I arrived at the house, I had gotten a job working in the Chamber of Commerce and discovered that a theater group was opening up right downtown. My only concern was protection and that was relieved when I arrived at the houe to discover that my Uncle Rod had bought - a lion. Yep. There was a lion living on a huge chain that had the run of the field across the street and the front yard. Even though closer inspection showed that it was actually a mix between a golden retriever and a lion - think huge retriver with a thick lion tail, I was still sure that no one would dare sneak up on my house if I had a lion in the front who was friendly to me and deadly to everyone else.

All my problems were solved until...

I woke up. And thought it was quite impossible for me to get a lion for safety and that there was no theater in the town and I was right back to where I started in the debate. And even though my living situation is quite settled until the end of November, I still woke with the "where shall I live" debate raging in my head. So much so, that I couldn't go back to sleep. I thought that I was a little sleepy but quite tired of laying in bed and ready to start the day. Was it too early? I reached for my phone and flipped it open pleased to find it was 6:20 and not 3:00 as I had feared.

So I got up and finished writing out the questions that I posted this morning. I read my Bible. I can't actually remember the order that I did things today. I ate cereal and then returned to read a second chapter of the book. Posted the answers, cleaned my room and then took "Swing" outside to edit. I edited a chapter and a half - since the first was halfway done - then returned inside where I discovered I was still hungry. Pop was up by now and my "eggs and toast" turned into a request for "eggs, bacon and homemade biscuts". So like a Hobbet, I set to work making "second breakfast" and unlike a hobbet, I discussed investing and real estate with my Grandpa.

My Grandpa is a genius when it comes to money-making ventures. Not all of them work. But I've seen the man take a pinball machine and have people driving from other towns to play the thing for trophy's bought from a resale shop.

Today we talked about renting and realistate and just a bit of the stock market. He's going to give financial classes to my newly-graduated cousins about money management, banking and investing and I intend to sit in every one of them.

Since I have no money to invest as of now, our conversation turned toward ventures. See, just about the time when I was thinking perhaps I would return to Palacios after all, my grandfather has informed me he's bought a new real estate with a building and a bunch of land. On this land, he wants to build a building that I've dubbed "Bouquet Enterprises." Here he is building a room for each of us - so Kayla could set up a dance studio. Lauren could teach voice or build a nutrition/fitness center. When we get tired of doing the business ourselves, we can hire others and eventually let them take over. I could have anything in my room that I want.

I know what I want. To make my living with my writing and to produce that writing into films and plays. That's a bit big to build and will take some time so in the meantime we discussed things I could do with my room to make money and how I could use it to delegate tasks to others to make money for me.

What will I do?

No clue. I could do piano and voice. I could open a costume shop. I could open a small publishing company. I could set up a grocery shopping team.

I wondered if this would actually pan out and if it did if it just happened to be God shouting at me that he's really telling me to stay here and I'm just not listening because I'm torn about leaving Palacios.

I don't know. But I got so excited that it was hard to focus on my stuff. After breakfast and cleaning out the dishwasher, I returned to put the "Swing" edits into the computer. Then I began formatting "The Calling." It wasn't supposed to take that long but I downloaded a new program and tried this and that and the other and finally found.... one of the many reedits that I did that looked great on my kindle. I just had to insert a few "centers" and see if I could tag the Table of Contents. I uploaded it. Crossing my fingers.

After this I realized if I wasn't careful the time would get away from me and I'd find it time to go to rehearsal without looking over the script. So I spent some time trying to get the dialogue perfect and thinking up dreadful things to do to the writers and editors of that script. A pet peeve is when a character repeats something three times. Dorothy says "Never, never, never!" at least three times and it doesn't sound any more realistic the last time than it did the first. And if I forget a line - it's probably, "Oh!" Or "Oh - oh..." I swear there's a hundred 'oh's sprinkled through the script and Dorothy stutters a lot.

*Glances down to notice the sides on the soapbox. Presses lips together and gingerly steps down*

Anyhow. Moving on.

I sent a check to be deposited with Ryan and helped put away groceries. I think I reached a record on the backenbooks blog. It had 15 visitors today.

Now I think I'm going to read another chapter of the "No Excuses" book. Tomorrow I need to work really hard on getting "Swing" ready to go. Hopefully tonight I can arrange with Marie to meet to do the book cover.

Then it's onto "The Captive" with full throttle and less distractions and I'm going to whip that baby into shape. Okay, I won't really whip it. That would be cruel. I shall gently coax it to perfection - rapidly.

Without Excuse

I'm reading the book "No Excuses" with Danae and this is the beginning of what I'm learning through the exercises in the back. It's a great book so far (I've read a grand total of two chapters.) In fact, I rather enjoyed the irony of procrastinating going to bed, and again getting up to start chores in order to read a book that focuses on "self-control" with the definition of "Self-discipline is the ability to do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not." I highly recommend it.

If my work life and career were ideal, I would turn my stories into books and then my books into movies. I would work as both author and actress and also direct or co-direct my films. The money I made from these endeavors would be used to cover basic living expenses (which would ideally be kept simply and low) and generously donated to help alleviate suffering in the world such as human trafficking and world hunger. The books and films would be realistic but wholesome. Their purpose would leave people inspired to be and do more. Controversial scenes would never be used solely for enjoyment but to realistically depict grave situations in life, leading to what can be done to overcome them.

One discipline I could develop to help achieve it is One discipline that could help me achieve this goal is to begin networking with like-minded people and finding out what opportunities are out there. Also to read and learn as much as I could to improve in both arts.

2. If my family life were ideal at the moment, we would have less criticism and more communication with each other. I need to make sure that I begin only saying things that will encourage my family and build them up.

3. If my health was perfect in every way, I would stress and worry less. I wouldn’t ache or have asthmas. I would eat all organic and natural food. I would have more muscles and strength.

The disciplines that I would need to make this possible would be to drive farther for good food and the self-control and time-management to keep up with exercise.

4. If my financial situation was ideal, I would have a steady source of income from investments that didn’t require hours out of each day in order to maintain. I would have the freedom to persue projects and goals that were important to me and would make a difference in the world. If I did work at a “job”, it would be something that I was very passionate about with people I cared about.

I guess the discipline that I would need the most today is to research how this could be achieved and then to have the courage to follow through. Right now I have no money to invest so I might need to be willing to work in a less-than-ideal place in order to build up enough funds to begin investing.

5. I’m not as successful as I need to be, mainly because I’m too scared to get out and try. I don’t want to live by myself – and if I do, I want to move back to Palacios because I have such a strong emotional tie there. I don’t have enough money to buy the courses I’d like to further my education or finish out college. I don’t live near any Christian film companies and I’m afraid to get too involved with the secular companies who don’t have the same goals for their productions. I also don’t know much about writing screenplays.

I need to overcome fear. I need to base my choices off of opportunity and not emotions. I need to find ways to learn about the film industry as well as how to successfully navigate the publishing and promoting world. But I’d say across the board, it boils down to fear of people’s opinions and my ability to succeed.

6, One discipline I could develop to help me reach more of my goals would be to stop second-guessing myself and take action.

7. If I could be completely disciplined in one area to have the greatest positive impact in my life, it would be to learn and act upon what God’s will is instead of basing my choices on what I desire and other people think I should do. On a more earthly level, I think developing better communication skills with people would help alleviate a good portion of my fear.

Chapter Two:

Three people who I admire are: The IJM team because they dedicate their lives to fighting injustice and freeing captives.

2. George Washington Carver because he strove to learn as much as he could, depended on God for his answers, and learning that a small, simple thing has infinant worth and value.

3. Edith Brown? Because she’d only lived a fraction of her life, but she gave up her seat in the last lifeboat of the Titanic so that a mother could stay with her children.

2. The most important quality that I must strive to emulate is courage. With courage, I would not be afraid to try new things, to stand up for others and myself and to be truthful at all times.

3. I feel most confident when I am in the theater. I know how to conduct myself, how to relate to others and what is expected. I feel most confident after I have achieved a difficult accomplishment, when people are viewing my work and I know that it is well done. Also when I help or donate to a cause I believe in.

4. I have the greatest self-esteem and personal worth when I’m developing my passions and molding my character. When I’m proving to myself that I can do something I was unsure of.

5. If I was an excellent person in every respect, I would behave differently by going to be and getting up early, maintaining an orderly house, not being ruled by opinions or material goods. I would fearlessly love people and help them whenever I could. I would never complain or criticize. I would do all I could to better the quality of people’s lives and make them feel their worth. I would hear clearly from God and obey him without hesitation or questioning. I would inspire people to love, be generous, be fearless and to build each other up. I would dress neatly and keep myself in good health. I would not stress, panic or worry.

6. One quality I would like for people to think of when my name is mentioned is integrity. I can accomplish this by striving to do my best in every situation and being honest.

7. One area that I need to be more truthful and practice higher levels of intregrity today in is my relationship with sin and God.

Just A'swing....

Today was day two of getting into the swing of things. I got in bed on time, though it was still about midnight when I fell asleep. I woke up three times during the night and again when my alarm went off at 7:00. I didn’t want to get up, but I did. I read my Bible, cleaned my room and checked all three emails, sending off personal and some book-related emails. The computer turned off at 8:00 and I went for a walk. I jogged all the way down the street my uncle lives on. I’m going to see if I can add a bit longer to that every day. I made a smoothie for breakfast and began working on Swing before finding out that if I was going to do any writing with Val at all today, we only had one hour when we could both get on. I got on and while working with her, I reviewed a few short stories by other authors, answered a few messages, edited the first chapter of “Come What May” – a Little Women novel, that I started years ago on fanfiction.net. I said good bye to Val and turned off the computer again, going to the kitchen where I put a pot of beans on and decided to add two fried eggs to my breakfast. I asked my grandfather about a minor military detail for “Swing” and spent an hour cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry and taking out the compost. Ryan saw me working and began cleaning the living room.

After eating a bowl of the now-ready beans, I contacted Tami and gave her details to get a signing approved at the college, then resumed editing Swing and completed three chapters. I edited photographs and sent off details to Marie about the book cover for “Across the Distance” so Rob can see about helping me design a cover for it. I put on “Wizard of Oz” to watch and listen to while I was working on the computer. I reformatted two more chapters of “The Calling.”

Now it’s 4:20 in the afternoon and I’m trying to decide which project to focus on next. I have about 2 ½ hours before rehearsal starts. Tonight we’re blocking the last portion of the show. I’m supposed to be off-book by Thursday but I can’t get my script back from the scarecrow. There’s been an illness going around the cast and I’m trying very hard not to get it.