Burned Out

See that candle over there burning at both ends until it's a pile of nothing? That's me.In fact, right now I'm sprawled out on the big chair in the living room much like that.

Watching a wedding movie of all things....

I didn't start it.

But back to the candle.

The farther I walk down this publishing road, the longer it gets. It's not just writing. It's not just editing.

Now it's finding the proper way to format a professional book for hard copies. And redoing the HTML for the ninth time for the ebook. And trying to find an editing software so I can get a manuscript clean enough to hire a professional editor with money I don't have so I don't get my final book and find spelling mistakes in it.

And trying to make a good book cover that doesn't look like a template or self-published.

I do want to produce my own books. I want to learn all of this stuff.

But I'm having to learn it all at once and I don't know how to start. I don't know the professional standers so I don't even know what to compare to.

I will learn this. I'll learn how to do it right the first time and it won't take a million hours. I don't know what else to do now though. I need to get it working. I've been getting up at 5:45 - I can't get up earlier. I've been working hours and hours and hours every day and I know that's normal for starting up a dream.

But it's not making enough income to hire people to help me. If I get an outside job I will have even less time than I do now and things will be ten times longer. Besides, that means giving up Palacios and I just can't.

I can't even pay my parents back for the money they put into my book and I'm not sure how to publicize to get enough sales to even make back what was in it.

I've been reading as much as I can. I've been working as hard as I can.

And now...

I think I'm just about surrounded by brick walls I'm going to have to chip my way through.

There has to be a way.

There has to be.

Others have done it and if they can, I can.

I just really have no clue how.

So what do I do?

Do I focus on getting the cover for "Across the Distance" done so I can send off for the proof-copy or does the book need more editing, polishing and a better layout?

Or do I work on taking a picture of my book cover so I can get a high enough DPI to make them into posters so I can make the signing packs and send them out to the libraries?

Or do I begin editing "The Captive" because it does no good to have a first book if I don't have the sequel ready?

Or do I focus on finishing "Swing" first because that one is closer to ready to publish than "The Captive" is?

And what about networking and driving people to the websites and all that jazz so someone knows that the first two books I have even exist?

(Photo by photo8.com)